I was rehashing a conversation I had with my boss in the middle of the night. That is apparently the best time to think - at least my brain thinks so, much more often than I'd like.
In any case, I was working from home to help my mom out with some stuff. He (the boss) told me I was a good daughter. To which I responded, "I have to earn my keep". My question is - do all children feel that way? Do they all feel like they have to earn their parent's love or approval?
Let me start out by saying that my mother is great. She worked her way out of poverty, provided an amazing education for me and my brothers, and gave us everything we needed. She worked hard and she did it all herself. (She's now retired.)
I was just surprised by my quick response to that statement.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Monday, February 8, 2016
Game face
A friend and I both lift for the same team and next Sunday is going to be my first competition with them. (Well actually, I was signed up for one last year in May, but bailed last minute due to unforeseen events.) There is a wide variety of skill, age, and experience on this team, which makes it a great place to train and find camaraderie.
In any case, there is a masters woman on the team that lifts a lot of weight. A LOT. I'm not really friendly with her and she strikes me as rather stand-offish. I often wonder what it is that makes her so successful. After a text discussion with my friend, we came to the conclusion that it is all about attitude. What kind of attitude though?
Hysterically, my buddy and I decided to try on different attitudes over the next couple of weeks. I got the following as texts from her:
Well needless to say, I'm not sure this is the attitude we need, to improve our lifting.
On my way to the gym yesterday I was thinking about traits in people that annoy me a little. That seems counter-productive I'm sure, however I think some of the most successful people have these traits. The conclusion I came to is that the successful people believe in themselves, endlessly. No wavering. No hesitation. No questioning. Well, if they have moments of weakness, I will never see them. Why would that be annoying though? It is important to believe in yourself. I think it is the lack of humiliation or self-depreciation. The attitude that "I am a superstar" and therefore, "you are not worthy". Cliquey, privileged, talented, able to leap tall buildings out of the womb, better than me...AH HA!! There I go, comparing myself. This is my journey and I just gave them my power and essentially told them "I am not worthy".
My journey. Mine. All mine.
So, I have a new attitude that I tried on yesterday --
I AM FUCKING AWESOME!!!
You know what? It worked. So I'm going to keep using it - for lifting, parenting, adulting, life-ing, working, friending, familying, etc.
and...I think you're FUCKING AWESOME TOO!!
In any case, there is a masters woman on the team that lifts a lot of weight. A LOT. I'm not really friendly with her and she strikes me as rather stand-offish. I often wonder what it is that makes her so successful. After a text discussion with my friend, we came to the conclusion that it is all about attitude. What kind of attitude though?
Hysterically, my buddy and I decided to try on different attitudes over the next couple of weeks. I got the following as texts from her:
On my way to the gym yesterday I was thinking about traits in people that annoy me a little. That seems counter-productive I'm sure, however I think some of the most successful people have these traits. The conclusion I came to is that the successful people believe in themselves, endlessly. No wavering. No hesitation. No questioning. Well, if they have moments of weakness, I will never see them. Why would that be annoying though? It is important to believe in yourself. I think it is the lack of humiliation or self-depreciation. The attitude that "I am a superstar" and therefore, "you are not worthy". Cliquey, privileged, talented, able to leap tall buildings out of the womb, better than me...AH HA!! There I go, comparing myself. This is my journey and I just gave them my power and essentially told them "I am not worthy".
My journey. Mine. All mine.
So, I have a new attitude that I tried on yesterday --
I AM FUCKING AWESOME!!!
You know what? It worked. So I'm going to keep using it - for lifting, parenting, adulting, life-ing, working, friending, familying, etc.
and...I think you're FUCKING AWESOME TOO!!
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Retirement
You know, my hope is that anyone who "retires" has the joy of living life beyond what they are retiring from - say rather than fighting a disease or something. I received a note in the mail that my rheumatologist is retiring at the end of March.
I knew this day would come. I'm so glad it is this year instead of say 5 years ago.
I started seeing her in 2007 and I was in such a bad place with my rheumatoid arthritis. I was convinced I could heal myself and didn't need modern medicine. She was patient with me and started me on meds very slowly with low dose prednisone. I learned very quickly that I could feel better than I did, and that everything I had done to that point wasn't working.
I am a pill-phobe. I hate taking medicine and the next big drug for me to try was Methotrexate. If you know anything about it, it is a chemo drug and has nasty side effects. For some reason, I trusted my doctor and went ahead and tried it anyway. Long story short - it didn't work, but because I failed on it, I was able to get on Enbrel. ...WHICH CHANGED MY LIFE.
In any case, there was a time where I really idolized my doctor. I gave her some of my power and she took great care of it. She patiently guided me to health and essentially saved my life.
I wish her happiness, freedom and lots of love in her days of retirement along with a great big THANK YOU!!
I knew this day would come. I'm so glad it is this year instead of say 5 years ago.
I started seeing her in 2007 and I was in such a bad place with my rheumatoid arthritis. I was convinced I could heal myself and didn't need modern medicine. She was patient with me and started me on meds very slowly with low dose prednisone. I learned very quickly that I could feel better than I did, and that everything I had done to that point wasn't working.
I am a pill-phobe. I hate taking medicine and the next big drug for me to try was Methotrexate. If you know anything about it, it is a chemo drug and has nasty side effects. For some reason, I trusted my doctor and went ahead and tried it anyway. Long story short - it didn't work, but because I failed on it, I was able to get on Enbrel. ...WHICH CHANGED MY LIFE.
In any case, there was a time where I really idolized my doctor. I gave her some of my power and she took great care of it. She patiently guided me to health and essentially saved my life.
I wish her happiness, freedom and lots of love in her days of retirement along with a great big THANK YOU!!
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