I've been injured for what feels like the majority of a year. Both shoulders and now my back. I've mentioned that I've had chronic low back pain - but recently I slipped a disc as well. Things are so much better now. The pain though has been this consistent and agonizing friend for years - fluctuating between a manageable 1 or 2 to an excruciating 8 or 9 on the pain scale. I've stopped doing Olympic lifting and have instead been focusing on functional body building - mostly upper body and unilateral leg strengthening work.
After having spent a ton of money and time trying various techniques to heal my back (all of which have helped to some degree, I'm sure), I have come to two conclusions. 1) I need to start squatting again, squatting with weight. 2) My pain is more in my head than anything, I think. Thankfully, my coach and I are on the same page about the squatting thing - so yesterday I did my first one and one quarter squats - with 83 pounds. The other thing I've started doing is to meditate.
Now this meditation thing is crazy. I'm using the Head Space app because I don't know how to do these things on my own. After years of being so type A and letting my head take me to crazy and agonizing places, I needed some guidance. What I think is so crazy though is that after every 10 minute meditation my low back - most specifically my sacrum, feels relaxed and open. JUST BY BREATHING and relaxing the tension. The pain has been manageable and not overwhelming.
I might be ready for a come back....
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Slowing down
I had a bunch of goals for this year. One was to have the best lifting year ever - which I guess is still possible, but much delayed. The other was to quit drinking for a year - which is also still possible, just delayed.
I switched olympic lifting programs and I don't think my body liked it much. One week out from Masters Nationals, my back said, "enough" and started sending shooting pains down my leg. Now I'm no stranger to back pain. I've lived with it since college. This was different though and forced me to stop lifting altogether. I haven't been able to do loaded squats since.
Perhaps this is why my dry year has been delayed as well. Drinking is still a routine in my life. I was reading a book about how to change habits and what needs to be figured out is what triggers the behavior and what the rewards are. In the end, the trigger and the reward won't change, instead it's the behavior that will change. So is drinking triggered by boredom or the time of day or stress or a need for sugar or all the above? The changes might be to meditate or shift my routine so that after work I have something else to do or practice deep breathing or eat a banana. The triggers remain as does the reward. I become one with my boredom, find new ways to end my work day, develop new ways to cope with stress, and eliminate my carb cravings - all without that glass of wine.
So why does this seem so daunting? I go days without alcohol, so that's not the problem. Is it the time frame? The all or nothing approach? The lack of control I have while in the midst of an injury?
In any case, as usual, I am hard on myself when I do drink. Perhaps that is the ultimate reward - self love.
I switched olympic lifting programs and I don't think my body liked it much. One week out from Masters Nationals, my back said, "enough" and started sending shooting pains down my leg. Now I'm no stranger to back pain. I've lived with it since college. This was different though and forced me to stop lifting altogether. I haven't been able to do loaded squats since.
Perhaps this is why my dry year has been delayed as well. Drinking is still a routine in my life. I was reading a book about how to change habits and what needs to be figured out is what triggers the behavior and what the rewards are. In the end, the trigger and the reward won't change, instead it's the behavior that will change. So is drinking triggered by boredom or the time of day or stress or a need for sugar or all the above? The changes might be to meditate or shift my routine so that after work I have something else to do or practice deep breathing or eat a banana. The triggers remain as does the reward. I become one with my boredom, find new ways to end my work day, develop new ways to cope with stress, and eliminate my carb cravings - all without that glass of wine.
So why does this seem so daunting? I go days without alcohol, so that's not the problem. Is it the time frame? The all or nothing approach? The lack of control I have while in the midst of an injury?
In any case, as usual, I am hard on myself when I do drink. Perhaps that is the ultimate reward - self love.
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