I'm a parent with a toddler. I feel like I get no time with my spouse. I get no time to read. I get no time to watch movies. So, right now he's asleep and I'm here "watching" Star Wars...while blogging. Life is funny.
I'm an Olympic style weightlifter. Apparently that is part of my identity - which is why I'm having life troubles. If I can't lift and be part of my team, then "who am I"? It really has had me down for a few weeks - so much so that I emailed a sports therapist recommended to me by my orthopedist. She was going on vacation, so I have yet to set anything up with her.
In the meantime, I visited the male counterpart of my physical therapy team - a married couple. He seems to always say the things I need to hear. I told him I was having an identity crisis and his response was, "I don't understand why. There are so many things you could be doing." I made my point to him about being an athlete and blah, blah, blah and he asks me... "Aren't you a parent?"
OK - PARENT is the biggest job I've ever had. It is hard. I want to run. I want to hide. I want to be very present. I want to be his everything. I fret about his well being and whether he's going to puke tonight. I worry that he has a fever or doesn't pronunciation words well. I worry that the fact that he likes to squish bugs and gets angry at our dachshund makes him a psychopath. I have a lot of joy and fear with being a parent. It is all consuming. As part of it, I have taken on the identity of bread winner. I need to do what I need to do to bring in the cash. My wife has taken on the role of primary care taker.
In any case, the point is that when I compare "Olympic style weightlifter" to "Parent"... it's a no brainer to me. Of course I'm a parent over a weightlifter - and parenting doesn't tax my shoulders as much....
Ok that is funny. There is definitely more weight on my shoulders with parenting, but apparently it doesn't aggravate my torn labrum in the same way.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Sunday, June 5, 2016
Change and feeling overwhelmed
I'm feeling like it is time for a change. This is good, considering we are planning to put the house on the market in August. There is so much to do though....and I'm overwhelmed. (My cult days taught me that "overwhelmed" is just a story, though.) The toddler in the house. All the things that need to be fixed up and cleaned. The carpets, the dogs, the clutter, the stuff, the purging. It all feels like too much to do in the next two months, coupled with commuting and working and spending time with the toddler. Where do people get the energy to do all of this? So, I sense something needs to change, in order to get all of this done.
Last night I slept like crap. My right shoulder was aching. I couldn't get comfortable. I woke up today to extraordinary low back pain. (I think my body is trying to tell me something.) Ha!! I think it has been trying to tell me something, but I've liked to ignore it. Just like I cannot ignore the fact that there is much cleaning up to do in the house, there is much attention that needs to be paid to my body and what it is telling me. What to do about it?
One thing is to spend less time training. This may preserve some energy (and help my body heal) to apply to the house or running around with the toddler. Will I still get the mental health benefits though, from a reduced work out schedule? I may get benefits from getting the house in order. Another extreme idea is to send my wife to work so I can quit my job and focus on the kid and the house. I don't really think this is an option, so throwing this one out. The reality is that I know the answer. The work outs - they need to be healing and targeted. Pushing through isn't working and it is fucking with my tolerance for pain and ability to have energy for anything else. (As my wife says, "either you're mad at me, or you're in pain.") This time, it's pain, dear.
I've been inspired by my friend who runs the blog Power, Peace and the Porch Gym. She's recently been sidelined with an injury and seems to be handling it very well. It is time for me to figure out what to modify to get stuff done and gain sanity in my house and body again.
Last night I slept like crap. My right shoulder was aching. I couldn't get comfortable. I woke up today to extraordinary low back pain. (I think my body is trying to tell me something.) Ha!! I think it has been trying to tell me something, but I've liked to ignore it. Just like I cannot ignore the fact that there is much cleaning up to do in the house, there is much attention that needs to be paid to my body and what it is telling me. What to do about it?
One thing is to spend less time training. This may preserve some energy (and help my body heal) to apply to the house or running around with the toddler. Will I still get the mental health benefits though, from a reduced work out schedule? I may get benefits from getting the house in order. Another extreme idea is to send my wife to work so I can quit my job and focus on the kid and the house. I don't really think this is an option, so throwing this one out. The reality is that I know the answer. The work outs - they need to be healing and targeted. Pushing through isn't working and it is fucking with my tolerance for pain and ability to have energy for anything else. (As my wife says, "either you're mad at me, or you're in pain.") This time, it's pain, dear.
I've been inspired by my friend who runs the blog Power, Peace and the Porch Gym. She's recently been sidelined with an injury and seems to be handling it very well. It is time for me to figure out what to modify to get stuff done and gain sanity in my house and body again.
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