When did it happen? When did those 17 pounds creep up on me? Between October 2012 and August 2013 a whopping 17 pounds crawled on my ass and thighs and died there. I'm certain I was on call and on watch, but they slipped by - maybe in the night, or disguised as something I didn't recognize.
Was it baby weight? There is tons of talk about how the spouse also gains weight. I feel like nothing changed though. Well, maybe I wasn't as strict with my paleo. Maybe 80% became 50%. I can also tell you that most of that weight came on after the kid was born. Which signals two major changes - other than there is a new being to take care of. 1) My sleep has been obviously disrupted; 2) I am no longer the focus. That means that my wife doesn't cook for me quite the same as she used to, nor is diet the main focus of my time. No, that little bugger is.
As is my stress...
Work is ridiculous. I just really don't have words for it.
Work, baby, lack of sleep, stress, work, baby, lack of sleep. I might see a pattern here.
I keep beating myself up over it. I read something recently that made a good point - love yourself when you're out of shape and fat as much as you love yourself when you're in shape and skinny (or in the best shape of your life and fat). I never learned to love my fat self. No one else did. My family didn't. My classmates didn't. I didn't.
My friends tell me I'm just strong. Yes - I've been working on my 200 pound back squat and my 255 pound deadlift. I looked back to October of last year - 17 pounds thinner and my PR's were only 10 pounds less. So while the extra weight I'm sure has propelled me to the next level...it is not the answer.
Meh.
