Adulting

Back when we moved to New England, we had this vision of ourselves. We would own a house, with a yard. We would have a child. We would get married - which at the time was only an option in Massachusetts. The wife would become a veterinary technician. We would live in our house for 7ish years and then move to the next, bigger and better one - using the market in much the same way our parents did. We would be part of the middle class and give our child(ren) a safe and comfortable upbringing.

I am happy to say that we have accomplished all of this, but not exactly as we had originally thought. We moved here exactly 10 years ago and moved in with my mom as a temporary fix, while our condo back in Chicago was on the market. Once it sold we would have money to put towards a new place in the New England area. I was working for a consulting group, so my work was flexible and we could take some time to figure out where we wanted to live. We explored Burlington, VT, Portsmouth, NH, Lowell, Worcester, Newburyport, and Salem, MA.

Back in Chicago, the market crashed. What we had listed our condo originally was no longer viable a week later. In fact it was a downright ridiculously highball listing. It took a year, but eventually we sold. We lost money on the deal. Let me just put it that way.

So, let's just say, we were a little limited. Our vision of a house turned into the cheapest condo we could find. We looked in Lowell, mostly. We even looked at apartments. My wife was depressed at this point. Very depressed. Living at my mother's house didn't help and in fact worsened the depression. She had no identity and no job. At that point, we rushed to find a place to live - "no money down" was still a thing then. 

This is how we ended up in Lawrence. We bought a house - a comfortable house that needed some interior work. We thought we were up for the task. My parents had done a ton of house renovations on their own when I was growing up. I could do it too. Except I couldn't and can't. Other than painting, I really am not that interested in fixing up houses. Partly because I have to read a book to learn how to do everything and partly because I HATE LIVING IN CHAOS!! I know and knew this last part about myself going into the new house.

But back to the vision for us. We bought this house and once again the market crashed. We were immediately underwater and have been for almost a decade. That said, we had a house with a yard. The wife became a vet tech. We got married and had a baby. Said baby is now the focus, and we need to figure out schooling - which is why we're making the next move.

I think I grew up thinking that living with family is a crutch and that if I live with family it means that I am not capable of being an adult. And here is where I still struggle... We have moved into what we call the "gray house" (vs. the "green house"). We're in North Andover now, where the school systems are much better than Lawrence, and we're co-habitating with my mother. I feel defensive. I feel like a failure. I know this doesn't have to be permanent. I feel like it should be reversed though... I have my life together to the point where my mother moves in with us...

Well that's where we are. Now we are doing what we can to get the "green house" ready to put on the market. Time to take the next step.